>> 12/20/23, Half Life:

i've been going through the harrowing goal of playing and 100%'ing all half life games. i guess when it comes to mainline half life games i'm almost done actually. let me list them.

Half Life
Half Life Blue Shift
Half Life Uplink
Half Life Day One (considered different due to the mere kb differences)
Half Life 2
Half Life 2: Episode 1
Half Life 2: Episode 2
Half Life 2: Lost Coast

i played them all and 100% them too, which im quite proud of! the gnome was a tough one to get through and i guess all i have left is opposing force ot finish on this list. i'll update this when i'm done.

half life 1 is still my favorite half life game due to just how tight and good it is. half life 2 is brilliant, don't get me wrong but there's something beautiful about half life 1. it's a short experience yet it was one of the best i've ever plaeyed (except the xen parts.)

half life blue shift was great, it was just more half life 1 which i needed. the xen parts were actually fun too which was wild!! xen?? fun?!

half life uplink and day one were fun i mean its just more half life 1. i finished hl uplink actually during theater lmao... it was on our pc through the browser i remember playing it through projector when i was alone IT WAS SO FUNNY.

half life 2... what to say about it that hasn't been said? one of the best games of all times with one of the most charming characters to ever exist (alyx... and barney too i love him sooo much!)

i really love alyx. i'm going to copy paste this from my tumblr actually wait

Ok so! Alyx Vance. Is maybe one of my favorite characters? Ok let me explain. When I was 12, I had a major surgery where I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and bedridden for a month at home. I was horribly lonely and I loved doing track and field and parkour and shit and I couldn't.
What kept me company during these hard times?
Specifically Half Life and L4D. These two franchises were what I obsessively watched. As a girl at the time and a poc, Alyx stood out to me because a female poc who?? Is really silly and goofy and has personality? No way...?
I latched onto her at age 12, but once I got back into school I stopped obsessing over Half Life, but for that 1 month and 2 weeks she literally was my main personality trait in a time where I was recovering from a traumatic surgery that left me with a 12 inch scar on my stomach. Coming back to half life in 2021 made me realize I am still the 12 year old girl who fell in love with Alyx Vance and related to her...

so alyx really means a lot to me fuck. episode 1 and episode 2 was amazing because i got to spend more time with her and honestly she just... means a lot to me and always has. i guess part of me forgot her for a while when i got back into half life. mostly because i was so obsessed with barney and gordon but coming back to it a year later, alyx just means fucking everything to me.

lost coast was just gorgeous. fuck, it had a wonderful set and i wish we got to explore it more. geniunely, i fell in love with a seaside town for 20 minutes and it was... it was great. i geniunely adore lost coast for what it is and wish we got more.

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>> 12/15/23, On Love:

Started THE BLOG where I WILL BLOG and speak my feelings or whatever. I think a lot of the internet for me-- especially tumblr, serves as a safespace except I feel bad forcing people to see my thoughts when they didn't sign up for it. Here though you gotta click on blog and read this. You have to choose to be here and you don't need to look at the stuff I do- I'm speaking in circles but that's what this blog is for me.

I guess I'll talk about being aroaceapl in this first blog. aromantic asexual aplatonic! fun terms right. aromantic being not feeling romantic attraction, asexual being not feeling sexual attraction and aplatonic being not feeling strong platonic feelings towards others. Being aplatonic seems to be the most... unliked part of my label list. I dunno, it's like the second you say that you don't feel love for your friends you're treated like a heartless robot.

Sorry that I think that I should be allowed to identify as labels that don't hurt anyone at all and newsflash! Humanas all experience different things in life and yeah it is possible for someone to be aplatonic. I can still have friends, I just don't feel... you know. Love for them I guess.

Whatever. It's only a matter of time before I get another person reblogging my post saying it's wrong for me to be aplatonic haha shout out to fite-club or whatever I remember you still!