empty movement is a really amazing resource for utena graphics and anything utena-- especially in the modern age when a lot of old web utena stuff has gone missing or has straight up disappeared.

I also will start up my own page for documenting old web utena content because there simply seems to be very little when it comes to utena... empty movement has almost everything covered but i do want my own gallery too.

Nanami is my favorite character: here's my favorite videos featuring her.

Nanami best girl forever... if you think otherwise you're simply wrong... *(joke).

Revolutionary Girl Utena

Utena is one of the most important shows I think I've ever watched. It's changed the way I interact with media- the aesthetics have changed the way I draw and write and the characters-, especially Nanami, have affected me in ways I haven't felt in a long time. that is to say, I don't think anything will ever effect me as much as RGU has.

When I first watched Utena, I was in a lonely, rather bad place where I was convinced I was a horrible person. I hated who I was and everything about myself. I watched it hoping that the themes of identity and self-actualization I heard about would fix me. It didn't fix me, but it changed me.

Anthy's story about breaking away from abuse- not being saved by others but by herself- and how she breaks from that cycle of abuse and finds love in Utena is one of the most touching love stories I've ever watched. Not only that but RGU is the most respectful and breathtaking abuse stories I've seen. The sexual assault and rape of the characters aren't graphic. Akio is treated like the monster he is. NOTHING is sugarcoated.

Utena is uncomfortable, it makes you feel voyeuristic and gross at times. You feel this sort of gut wrenching "am I really going to watch this?"" horror the entire Apocalypse Arc because of Akio's actions. You want to throw up whenever Akio and Anthy interact and you want to kill Akio after what he does to Utena. You watch this brave, strong and naive Utena go through grooming with a frown on your face. She becomes docile- she loses who she is- and it's only once she realizes she has Anthy to help her that she can break away. Have a second chance- not at life yet- but at leaving this cycle of abuse.

The movie happens, this is Anthy's second chance to tell Akio to fuck off and save Utena from her "Destiny"- and it works. They have a chance to live and fuck if that doesn't hit home for me. It wasn't Anthy or Utena or even Juri- Miki- who affected me the most though. From the decorations on the page, I'm sure it's obvious that Nanami is my favorite character.

I did a lot of awful shit when I was younger. I was mean, I was cruel and I didn't understand right from wrong because of the way my family raised me- I saw myself in Nanami Kiryuu. When you grow up in an unstable home, you'll likely end up unstable yourself. Nanami is mean but she doesn't know better. All she knows is that she's Touga's sister- and that's how she's defined herself. Once she loses that, she has an ego-death of sorts. She loses everything. She's no longer Nanami Kiryuu but rather just Nanami.

Then her brother pulls the incest card on her. She's so fucking disgusted she runs away only to see Akio and Anthy in the midst of their relations- and that's when she breaks.

She's disgusted by herself and by her family and by the adults around her- and she fucking leaves. She leaves the council, she goes back to living her normal goddamn life because she's seen what behind the Council and their beaucracy and power. Abuse and sexual assault and rape and none of it fucking matters anymore. She's broken the cycle. She's the sacrifical cow, the one to lose her innocence and the first to leave Ohtori and the first to say fuck it. I'm done.

And that is why I fell in love with Nanami. She fact she was able to say fuck you I'm going home. This isn't worth it, I want out.